Who Said it Was Going to be Fair

Recently, my youngest daughter has been over using the term, “hey that’s not fair”.  The typical response I give her: “who told you it was supposed to be fair?”

Our culture carries with it the belief that we need to be fair. Treat others with fairness, raise our children to be fair and that overall, life is about fairness. But is it?

Who ever said life was going to be fair?  Who told us that others would treat us fairly?  Was it our parents?  Before them, their parents and their parents and…. Well, you get the point.

Can we all agree: life is not always fair.  Innocent people are harmed every day, contributing, caring people get cancer and those who have given their lives to help others, are wronged. That’s life and no, it’s not fair!

In a world full of unfairness, does it really help our children to raise them with the belief that life is fair? I say no. Sure we want to treat others with fairness and when we exchange work, money or services we want those transactions to be fair. But what about preparing our youth for the real world and dealing with unfairness?

Experience is a great teacher. Most of us have been schooled many times by life and what we have learned from it is invaluable. As a father, I make it my responsibility to equip my children the best I can for a successful life. Relationships, money, work ethic, accountability, self-esteem and yes, even the unfairness of the world.

When you look deep into what fairness is, it’s kind of a moving target, isn’t it? In large, our individual belief systems determine what we consider fair.  What one person calls being fair is not to another. We tend to associate different values on different things.

Instead of assuming what is fair, why not teach our kids to ask others what they think is fair?  Why not help them understand it’s not always how we treat others that matters but rather it’s how they perceive that treatment. Imagine how different our children would be if they were raised to asked more questions and did less assuming in terms of fairness.  Their level of respect, courtesy and genuine caring for others would increase.  The way others in their community see them would also change.

Little changes today can yield big returns tomorrow in terms of raising healthy, successful children.

I can count on life to throw me a curve ball that won’t be fair.  Hey, it’s called life!  That’s the way it works.  Get used to it and do your kids a favor by preparing them accordingly.

Until next time, make better choices and be blessed.

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